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Reverend Molock & Allie - Suicide & Faith

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Reverend Molock & Allie

Risk Level: Moderate-High

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Allie Werner, 25-year-old Caucasian female, graduated from college two years ago with a degree in art history, her long-time passion, and despite great opposition from her parents, both high-profile lawyers. She’s the only child of successful parents, and grew up under intense scrutiny and pressure. Allie and her parents have been estranged since they cut off her funding for college during her Junior year. She’s blown off steam with drug use and some alcohol abuse since she was a teenager.

Allie WernerAllie felt confident that her student loans and credit card debt were a calculated risk that would pay off when she landed her dream job. After three months of searching, and several painful rejections, she applied to be on a temp agency’s roster so that she wouldn’t get evicted.

Since then, she’s worked a string of random part-time jobs that don’t engage her head or her heart; they just (barely) pay the bills. After finding scant opportunities to work in her chosen profession, she starts to feel resentment towards her professors, who all sounded so optimistic about her job prospects. Her last temp job ended a month ago and there are none available now. She’s been on dozens of job interviews, but can’t find anything.

She feels embarrassed that she drove herself so far into debt for college and now can’t find a job in the field she was trained for. Her dried-up income stream is bad news; her school loans are all past due and delinquent. Both of her credit cards has also gone into collections; she doesn’t answer the phone anymore because of the threatening creditor calls. She feels she can’t mention any of this to her parents because of the condemning and judgment she’s sure she’ll face. She doesn’t have enough money to pay rent this month, and is convinced she’ll end up homeless.

On the weekends, she hides from her roommate, Meredith (23), who seems annoyingly calm and peaceful and won’t stop asking her to come to yoga with her. Try as she might, Allie can’t muster the energy to open the blinds, take a shower, get dressed, and go outside. Her emotions feel painfully vivid in some moments, dull in others. Only with a lot of nagging from her roommate can she handle some of her apartment chores. Her friends got tired of inviting her to parties only to have her bail on them, so they don’t bother calling any more.

Everyone else her age seems to be doing fine with such ease. Marcella (26) and Heidi (25), her two best friends from college, both secured their dream jobs before they’d even graduated, and Alex (26), her friend from church, seems satisfied working an entry-level position while he networks his way into his field. Allie’s sure that something basic must be wrong with her, though she’s doesn’t think she’s depressed or anything. She just needs to solve this job thing and she’ll be fine.

She’s been sneaking leftover prescription pills from the back of her roommate’s medicine cabinet, and has recklessly combined prescriptions a couple of times, just to see what would happen. She’s had a hard time sleeping for months now, and has not slept at all for a week. Her insomnia has made her moods intense and abusive to her roommate.

Allie’s very hesitant to reach out because she feels like she’s wasting her minister’s time; s/he should be meeting with the people who have real problems, not her. However, she knows her minister would be mad at her if she doesn’t say something, so she asks Marcella to come to the church with her so she won’t chicken out. Allie’s nervous about admitting her dark thoughts and actions to her minister, someone who she’s known for some time.

Guarded Memories

Allie remembers witnessing some terrible fights about money and appearances between her parents when she was a child. Some ended in her mother throwing things at her father and leaving the house in a whirlwind, often drunk. Her parents never said a word to her about their fights; in the morning, they appeared at breakfast as if nothing had happened at all. Allie was so ashamed of their behavior that she could never tell any of her peers.

When she began dating, she found herself attracted to powerful guys who would dominate her life, both socially and sexually. She was drawn to the humiliating feeling she would get when they hurt her. She slept around recklessly and when she got to college, she continued this pattern, mixing her bad dates with alcohol abuse. Recent physical symptoms have made her suspicious that she has herpes, but she has no health insurance for treatment and is too embarrassed to go to a public health clinic.